Things I'll Never Say
by Findel
Summary: Lina has been made to wear a dress and attended a town festival. While dancing in the square she runs into the man she loves. Will she ever admit her feeling towards him?


**Things I'll Never Say**

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Another songfic that popped into my head while listening to the radio in my car. Hope you enjoy.

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_I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows_  


Lina looked at herself in the mirror with large blush staining her cheeks. Two things had her feeling rather nervous about this day. The first was that it was the annual summer solstice festival in the town they were staying. The main draw back of this was Amelia's obsession with making Lina wear a dress. None to say she was now in a white sun dress in her room. The blouse hugged her body to perfection until it reached the skirt which billowed out to the middle of her calves. "And, I thought this was the worst thing that could happen today," Lina commented to herself as she ran a comb through her hair. 

Indeed, this dress predicament was bad enough, but as she was looking out the widow she noticed something. In the crowd below she noticed a familiar ivory cloak making it's way down the street. 'No...It can't be. Why do you have to show up now...why when you could see me like this,' Lina bemoaned her situation as the figure stopped in the street. The figure, as if feeling eyes on him, turned to look straight into Lina's room as she ducked out of the way. After a moment she peeked back into the street to see he was gone. "I would've been excited to see him if it wasn't for this thing," Lina glared at the offending dress that kept her from going to meet him.

_I'm staring at my feet  
My cheeks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head_  


She sighed as she descended the stairs of the end to go join the festival. Amelia wouldn't quit badgering her about how pretty she looked, and why she should go out to the festival. She would clobber Amelia for this later, but for now she didn't want to hear the complaints. Lina ignored the eyes that followed her out the door. She ignored them so well that she missed the most important set of eyes in the room. Once she was out the door she walked down the street towards the center of town where her friends where waiting. As she entered the center she heard her name called, "Hey, Lina!"

She turned to see Gourry walking towards her with his best clothes on. He smiled at her and asked, "Would you like to dance?"

Lina blushed and looked at her feet for a moment before whispering, "Um...Okay...," as Gourry pulled her to him.

Lina and Gourry swayed and moved to the music that was played by a local band. They both looked at each other as if to ask a question when Lina felt a sharp pain in her foot. "Ouch...Gourry you idiot," she yelled as she punched him across the center for stepping on her foot.

_'Coz I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah_  


Lina staggered to a side of the dance and leaned against a wall as she massaged her damaged foot. After she lowered it back into her high heel a hand came to rest on her shoulder. She was about to turn and punch whoever dared to touch her when a voice stopped her cold, "Hello Lina." 

It seemed like her blood had frozen as that velvety tenor entered her ears. Now that she could identify the person behind her she didn't want to turn around. She didn't want him to see her like this...not now. Before she could attempt to get away he put another hand on her other shoulder and turned her to face him. She closed her eyes as she felt his eyes on her and waited for him to laugh. To her surprise nothing came from him; nothing not even the slightest twitch of the body. She slowly opened her eyes to see his sapphire blue eyes just staring at her as if awestricken. Still feeling embarrassed she averted her gaze as she blushed and said, "Long time no see Zel...What are you doing here?" 

"I was just passing through when I saw Gourry and Amelia at the festival and thought you wouldn't be far behind," Zel replied flatly as he continued to stare at this piece of beauty in front of him.   


_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?_  


Before Lina knew what she was doing she looked up to her friend and asked, "Would you like to dance with me."

Zel blinked for a second, making sure he heard correctly, and then replied, "It would be my honor."

Lina walked out onto the dance floor with her partner and got ready for the next song. She put one hand on Zelgadis' waist and the other in his hand. She giggled slightly when he tensed up as her hand laid on his waist. She then said, "I know you don't like to be touched but just work with me."

Zel was blushing as bright as Rezo's robes when Lina touched him on the waist. It was only thanks to his face mask that she didn't notice his reaction to her. He then smiled at her request and began to sway with her as the music began to play in the background. Lina and Zel swayed and floated to the music as they moved across the dance floor. After a while the music died down and the crowd applauded as the band took a break. Lina, with her hands still positioned on Zel, looked at him and asked, "Um...do you want to go for a walk. 

_If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee...  
Marry me today!  
Guess I'm wishing my life away...  
With these things I'll never say_  


Zel smiled as he walked with Lina as they made their way from the main part of the festival. He enjoyed the times he got alone with Lina and this was a good excuse to be with her. After a while he asked, "How are things," wanting to catch up on what he might of missed. 

Lina smiled and said, "Just the usual. Ya' know beating up bandits, taking their money, eating food, and just the same as usual." 

Zel eyed Lina as they continued to walk and replied, "Well this doesn't look like the usual," commenting on Lina's sun dress. 

Lina blushed as she looked right at Zel and said, "Hey! Don't get any ideas okay; I'm only dressed like this because Amelia wouldn't leave me alone until I wore this dress." 

Zel shrugged, all the while stoically looking straight ahead, and said, "I never said there was anything wrong with that." 

Lina blushed as they continued to walk in the silence brought on by Zel's comment. Lina all the while couldn't help but think, 'Maybe I do have a chance...' 

  
_It don't do me any good  
It's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you, what's on my mind?_  


As it started to get dark Lina and Zel made their way back to the inn were the whole group was staying. When they entered they were soon flagged down by Gourry and Amelia to sit with them. Right when they got to the table Amelia launched herself at Zel while shouting, "Mr. Zelgadis you've finally come back," and then latched herself onto his arm.

Both Lina and Zel had looks of disgust on their faces because of this action. The main difference was that Zel's face was hidden and he was the only one truly inconvenienced by the young girls actions. 'Damn you Amelia...why do you have to throw a wrench into everything,' Lina thought as she became disgusted with Amelia being attached to Zelgadis. "Amelia please let go and sit down so we can eat," Zel asked politely and was surprise went that seemed to work.

The group soon ordered and were eating fine. Well, except for the fact that Lina and Gourry weren't battling for different pieces of the meal. Gourry had quickly found out that Lina had a really sharp edge tonight while eating. He tried to take a roll from her and she took off a chuck of hair with a thrown fork. So now the group was eating with Gourry making sure he still had his hair, Amelia staring admiringly at Zelgadis, Zelgadis eyeballing Lina because of the vicious fork attack, and Lina grumbling while she ate. After Lina had finished her part of the meal she uncharacteristically excused herself from the table and went up to her room. Before anyone could voice concern Zel stood and said, "Don't worry I'll check on her," as he made his way to Lina's room. 

_If it ain't comin' out  
We're not goin' anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care?_  


Lina had made her way up to her room and locked the door behind her and just stood there looking in the mirror. As she continued to stare she clenched her fist in rage, but soon had a mood swing as tears began to form. 'Why is it that that little brat is the only one he ever notices,' Lina asked herself as she leaned on the dresser for support. "Damn you Amelia for stealing him from me," Lina uncaringly cursed her friend six ways till sunday.

After a few tears fell onto her dresser she turned as a knock came from the other side of her door. 'Great...and I already know who they sent to check up on me,' Lina thought as she rubbed the tears out of her eyes. She then called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Zel...are you okay Lina," came the voice from the other side. It had to be the muffling the door caused because he sounded concerned and that just couldn't be right.

"Hold on a second," Lina called as she checked her face in the mirror then opened the door for Zelgadis.

_'Coz I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah_  


Zel glided into the room and turned to face Lina as he pulled down his face mask and dropped his hood. He looked at her and asked, "Lina what's wrong? I mean I know Amelia and Gourry can get straining on the nerves at times, but I didn't think it had gotten that bad...Maybe I've been gone to long."

Lina looked at him and blushed as she admitted, "Well that is part of the problem."

Zel flinched at hearing her response and looked at her. She seemed rather flushed and nervous. Zel thought better not to ask about her mannerisms and then said, "It has to be more than that..."

Lina sighed and replied, "It's just that Gourry and Amelia aren't the best conversationalist or the best thinkers. I guess I've just missed having someone I can have a good conversation with and not have to explain multiple times or listen to how that doesn't pertain to the ideals of justice," Zel noticed the sarcasm in that last bit of her comment and decided that maybe it was that bad.

Zel then stood close to Lina and asked in barely a whisper, "Is there anything that I can do?"

  
_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?_  


Lina noticed how close Zel was and she suddenly got another impulsive urge. She face him and instead of saying anything she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck while thinking, 'Just for a few moments...'

Now it was Zelgadis that was blushing madly as Lina just out of nowhere embraced him and laid her head on his shoulder. He stood their stiffly as he tried to recover his breath. He then asked while stuttering wildly, "Li...Li...Lina are you okay?"

Lina moved her head slightly and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry Zel it's just I missed having around a lot when you left the last time. You have no idea what being with just Amelia or Gourry will do to you after a while," before relinquishing her hold and looking at him with a slight blush.

_If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee  
Marry me today!  
Guess I'm wishing my life away...  
With these things I'll never say_  


Zelgadis looked at Lina with concern in his eyes as he began to speak again, "Well, then it's good your the first I'm telling...I'm going to be leaving again in the morning. I've found a new lead and need to start after it as soon as I can."

Lina looked at Zel while not showing the mental distress she was going through at the moment. 'Oh no...I've driven him away. Oh Zel please don't leave me again...I don't think I could stand it.' She then smiled slightly and replied, "Hope you find what you're looking for this time."

Zel heard the awful sound of despair that came as an undercurrent with her hopeful reply. 'Something is really bothering her but what...is she that tired of those two,' Zel thought as he answered her, "Hopefully so...If you're as tired as you sound of those two then I can only offer one thing. You can come with me if you want, but it will be quite dangerous."

Lina looked at Zelgadis in shock. She couldn't believe that he actually offered to let her come along with him. He usually gave that, "It's too dangerous," excuse but now he was offering. "I'll have to think about it," Lina answered unsure of what to say.

  
_What's wrong?  
With my song?  
These words keep slippin' away..._  


Zel nodded and said, "Well, I'll need an answer by tomorrow morning," before he walked to the door and then said, "Good night Lina," before closing it as he walked out.

Lina's knees gave out on her as soon as he left the room and she was barely able to make it to her bed before she collapsed. She sat on the bed just staring at the wall while still pondering over Zel's offer and why he made the offer in the first place. Her nervous system was on full overload and she felt like she was about to break down at any moment. "Zel...you're acting so strange all of a sudden," Lina thought out loud as she laid down on the bed.

After about thirty minutes of thinking over Zel's offer Lina slowly fell asleep. She didn't realize how bad that day had drained her but she past out when her body couldn't stay awake any longer. As she was drifting off into the realm of dreams one thing remained constant from the world of the waking, 'Zel...All I want is to just be with you.'

_I stutter...I stumble  
Like I've got nothin' to sa-ay..._  


As Lina continued to dream she was on the road with Amelia and Gourry traveling as usual. She was saddened that Zel wasn't with them but she couldn't let Gourry or Amelia see that or they would never leave her alone. As they made their way through a forest they soon came to a fork and as if on cue a bandit gang appeared. Their boss, a middle-sized gruff man, stepped forward and said, "Well, lookie here it's Lina Inverse. Let's show her what we think of the dramatta boys."

And, thus the fight commenced with the grace of a bull turned loose in a china shop of red plates. At first the bandits attack without tactic or reason but Lina quickly noticed a change. They were soon trying to wedge each member of the party away from one another, and it was working. Before Lina knew it she had been separated from Gourry and Amelia and was being pushed back into the forest. "Well I'll give you this boys, you are good with surprise tactics but it'll take more than that to take me down," Lina said arrogantly as she attacked another bandit.

It was then the boss and his men stopped and didn't move for a moment. He then turned and said, "Okay our jobs done."

"What," Lina asked very dumbstruck by their actions.

"Well you're right we don't stand a chance at beating the dramatta...We were just paid by this guy to separate you and you're group. Now our jobs done and now it's up to the guy what happens," the boss explained before all the bandits disappeared running for there lives.

_'Coz I'm feelin' nervous  
Tryin' to be so perfect  
'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah_  
  
Lina just gawked at where the bandit used to be. This was the first time she every heard of something like this but her attention was soon drawn by a twig snapping. She spun around and commanded, "Okay mister money come out so I can see who's bright idea this was," as she warmed up a fireball.

Before Lina knew it whoever it was got behind her and grabbed her wrist. The fireball dispersed as her concentration was broken by her arms being brought behind her back. As she started to struggle when she heard his voice ask, "Was that anyway to greet me," before lightly kiss her neck.

Lina almost jumped out of her skin. That action was so unlike him she wasn't sure if this is who it sounded like. "Zel? What the hell is going on here," Lina asked as Zel finally let her turn around.

  
_Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_  


Zel smiled, a little too enthusiastically in Lina's mind, and explained lowly, "I paid them to separate you from the other two because I wanted you alone."

"Why," Lina asked dumbfounded and at the same time a bit worried that Zel might've finally snapped after not finding his cure of the last time.

Zel just held that uncharacteristic devil may care smile as he ran a hand through Lina's fiery hair. His other hand snaked around her waist and brought her flush against him as he continued his, 'petting,' of Lina. Lina sighed as Zel slowly ran his hand through her hair. It felt so soothing and her body became electrified with want as he pulled her to him. She then looked him in the eyes and asked, "Zel what's going on?"

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?_  


Zel continued to smile as she lowered his face to her neck and began to nuzzle against her. He then whispered right above her ear, "I think you're smart enough to figure that out."

Lina lowly moaned as Zel continued with his attentions towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her even closer, before saying, "I know but I just wanted to make sure before anything else happened."

Zel pulled Lina the final distance towards him to cause their lips to meet in a passionate kiss. Lina moaned as she leaned into Zel as the kiss began. She squeezed a bit harder as she felt his tongue against her lips, pleading for open passage, wanting entrance. Lina opened and Zel's tongue soon shot past her lips and into her mouth.

At that exact moment Lina shot up in bed, having been awaken for some reason, and stared at the mirror for a moment. "Lina you're way gone and the first time you've touched him intimately was today," she thought out loud as she got out of the bed. 

_If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_  


Right as her feet hit the floor a knock came from her door. She lowly asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me," came Zel's voice through the door. "I'm leaving in five minutes so if you want to come along better do it now."

Lina nodded and quickly got into her normal sorceress garb, which she was glad to have back, as she began to write a note. She then placed the dress and the note on her bed explaining where she was and not to wait around for her. She then quickly packed what she needed and ran downstairs. She got out and saw Zel standing there and she said jokingly, "Good morning, general," poking fun at his almost military view of time.

"You ready to go," Zel asked as he turned around to face her with a smile on his face.

Lina nodded and started following him out of town. As they got the edge Zel looked back at her and said, "Lina..."

"Yes," she replied feeling so much better as compared to last night.

"I'm glad you're with me," Zel replied as he turned and continued walking.

"Same here Zel, same here," Lina agreed while thinking, 'Even if I don't tell him how I feel it's better to just be near him instead of never seeing him again. Maybe I'll work up the courage to tell him someday soon,' as she continued on with the man she loved...with those things she will never say. 

  
_With these things I'll never sa-ay_

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Disclaimer: Any characters or ideas from **The Slayers** do not belong to me. I am not selling this material, just writing for the heck of it as I go.

Feedback is requested, please send all comments to findelhe@hotmail.com

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